Only 46 % of people with Anorexia Nervosa make - what's deemed to be - a full recovery... & maybe I should just stop kidding myself that I could ever be apart of that statistic, maybe I should be brave & honest with myself & just admit that. I've tried & tried & tried again over the years & I just fall back into the arms of restriction again. Maybe I'll be included in the third that make an improvement / partial recovery, but with the way things are going... it's looking more & more likely that I'll just be that 20 % statistic that remain chronic or even one of those whom die prematurely from complications or suicide (not ruling either of those out).
I don't want to be like this, but that doesn't seem to matter... I want a life, I want to be happy & free, but despite all of my efforts... it just doesn't seem to work! I wish I was normal! I hate this illness so, so much & yet I can't change! Doesn't make any sense at all & I hate living with that self frustration on a daily basis.
I wake up every day & I literally dread waking up... I dread having to face another day with the same battle. I'm so tired! All I want is for this heavy, internal pain to stop! How can just being alive hurt so much?! #anorexia #anorexic #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #EDawareness #EDcommunity #EDfamily #EDproblems #relapsevsrecovery #recoveryvsrelapse #breakthestigma #health #darktimes